Insignificant – How did I get here?

I’ve always battled with the insecurity of being insignificant. I feel like it’s a very common one to have these days, but it’s never really discussed. Ever feel like you’re always wanting more? More money, more fame, more attention, more love? We often mistake it for feeling greedy or shallow. I believe that it all boils down to not feeling like who we are in the current moment is not enough, that we’re insignificant to the world. We believe that if we have more of these things, our lives will magically become perfect, all our problems will disappear, and we’ll finally be satisfied. So, what do we do? We chase. We often mistake it for passion, convincing ourselves that it’s what is best for our future, forever chasing the carrot on the stick. I’m guilty of this. I got a university degree to prove how smart I was. It wasn’t enough so I did a Masters. That still wasn’t enough so now I’m doing a PhD. The punchline to this is that no matter how many different degrees and awards I got, I never felt smart enough. On the contrary, I often feel like an imposter every single time I started a new academic opportunity. Constantly waiting for the day that people around me realize how unimportant I am. However, the story doesn’t even start here, it begins right from childhood. 

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