In the grand scheme of life, there comes a time where some of us will feel invisible. We crave to be noticed for all the efforts we put in. We want to feel like we’re making a difference but how do we stop feeling invisible? In today’s post, we’re going to be talking about the sources of feelings of invisibility along with what we can do to get rid of them.
Table of Contents
Why do we feel invisible?
”Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Something that I’ve noticed recently is that there seems to be a very skewed view of success in society nowadays. A person is deemed ‘successful’ when they embrace the hustle mentality, makes loads of money, and is very open about his/her expensive lifestyle.
We’re constantly bombarded with pictures and images on social media, where we see these people living a life that we so desperately dream of. We see them as the pinnacle of perfection, and conversely, we see ourselves as failures for not being them. We feel invisible because we’re constantly comparing ourselves to this perfect image that is presented to us online.
I remember when I started on my weight loss journey, I would always compare myself to those at the very top. Flat stomachs. Defined jawlines. Toned muscles. I wanted it all, and so I was never satisfied and my progress felt like it didn’t matter. It just highlights the negative effects of comparing yourself with other people. Trust me, it never leads to anything positive.
How to stop feeling invisible?
Change your view of success
So how do we fix this? A simple answer would be to simply quit social media or just stop comparing. However, that’s a temporary solution to a much larger problem. Even if we don’t see them online, there are still successful people all around us that could trigger the same sense of invisibility. I believe that a much better way to approach this problem is to change the way we see success.
So many of us see success as an all-or-nothing type of situation. Either you’re successful or you’re not. But life really isn’t that simple and success can be quantified in many ways.
Some people may think having a lot of friends making them successful. Others place a high value on their romantic relationships. There are so many metrics in life that it’s difficult to quantify success as being excellent at one thing.
I would always focus on the fact that I wasn’t making six figures like the other 25-year olds on Instagram. Because of this, I considered myself a failure. However, I wasn’t appreciating all the positive aspects of my life. I had a good social circle of friends who provided support. A family that cared. Life was good but I was too focused on a single metric where I wasn’t overperforming.
So if you consider yourself invisible in one area of your life, have you considered that you may be crushing it in another area of life? You may be living a life that someone would die for, but you’re too focused on what you lack instead of what you have.
Useful articles:
Perfection is an illusion: There will never be a right time to start.
Focus on progress instead
Another way to stop feeling invisible is to focus on the process instead of the destination. Humans are impatient creatures. If we want something, we want it now. The longer it takes to get something, the less we’re inclined to put the work in. It’s a sad reality but that’s how most of us think.
The problem with this mentality is that it often leads to the feeling of invisibility. We believe that we won’t get noticed until we’re at our destination. So we want to get there as quickly as possible, ignoring the process.
To fix this, we need to become more present when pushing for our goals. It’s easy to be stuck in how our lives will be different in the end, but we need to bring our attention back to the now.
Personally, I use my Sundays to reflect on the progress that I’ve made during the prior week. All it takes is an hour to simply sit down and journal. What wins did you have during the week? Did you ultimately move forward towards your goals? Answering questions like these puts you in the progress mindset where you’re focused on the journey rather than the destination.
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing.” –
Seneca
Useful articles:
5 reasons why you should chase progress, not perfection
15 Stoic quotes on being present
Validate yourself
The final reason why so many of us tend to feel invisible is that we simply have no internal validation. In other words, we don’t know why we do the things that we do. We constantly look to others for praise and attention instead of giving it to ourselves.
While it may last for a while, it’s important to note that external validation always runs out. It may take days, weeks, months, or even years but eventually, the well dries up. I’m someone who used to post frequently on Instagram whenever I made significant progress in my weight loss journey. I thought I was doing it to inspire others, but I was simply doing it for the attention.
When I would make a post that wouldn’t get as many likes as the last, I would feel invisible again. It made me feel like all the progress I made didn’t matter. Now, I see that we need to be the witness to our accomplishments. We need to be able to motivate ourselves by aiming to be better than no one but ourselves.
By doing this, you’ll never feel invisible because the most important people sees you, and that person is you!
Social Validation – 3 Quick Questions To Find Your Why
Conclusion
Feeling invisible is a perfectly natural experience. It happens to every single person at some point in their lives. These feelings usually arise because we tend to compare ourselves to the ‘successful’ people around us. We take an all-or-nothing approach and believe that if we’re not on their level, then we’re somehow less than.
If we want to learn how to stop feeling invisible then we need to embrace the present moment. By doing this and embracing the path of progress, we’ll be able to live life on our own terms. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who sees you, all that matters is that you validate yourself.
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So much truth I’m this post. The combination of comparison and needing external vidation is such an easy traps and thought process to spiral down. But it is so damaging to our self worth.
Thanks for the great article! I fully agree that everyone is prone to comparing and even worse in a world of skewed perception on social media. I like your feedback on focusing on progress rather than perfection. Thank you!